Update

If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm not really a diary person, or at least not an interesting diary person. My type of diary tends to involve little to no personal pronouns etc. Hence why over time this blog (much like everyone elses) has become intermittent. I tend to only type when something significant happens and I'm sat at my computer (which rarely happens) and when I stay up late and enough shit has been piled on my lap that i have to shovel some of it into the receptacle that is the Internet.

So, last Thursday we all received our results. I am one of the worst people when it comes to receiving results. Mainly because i am one of those cunts who looks down when he gets AAAB. Don't judge me though, this is a case of nurture over nature. For you see, my mother did not have a great childhood, much like mine to be fair. She has a bad relationship with her sister and as a result attempts to compete with her over everything. I kid you not as a kid i was shown letters from my cousins (you know the people in your family the same age as you who can be great friends) and told how much better there handwriting was than mine. How much better the school they were going to was than mine. This has all come to a head in the last week. I needed AAB for my first choice and ABB for my second. I was really quite happy with either result as both unis are good. I ended up with ABBB 7 marks of an A in chem but royally ballsing up my other two subjects.

So having found out my results at school cause UCAS is a whore. I was all set to go out and get drunk enough to forget my inability to dance like anything other than a man jogging and flailing his arms. When i realise that having got into Warwick I should probably have applied for accommodation 3 months ago. Yea general fail (salute!). So i get home, do that go to say good bye to my mum and she says nothing, so i go have a cracking time, argue with a cab driver and fall asleep on a floor. I did not speak to my mum for 3 days. Aside from an email talking about how disappointed she was and how i was her last chance to prove that state schools weren't worse than private schools (basically that she was better than her sister.) Ye so at this point i have snapped. I was nervous about leaving home, mainly cause when people joke about parents staying together for the kids, i had to fake laughter because it has been freaking obvious for sometime that this is very much the situation my parents are in.

My parents haven't recently been fighting, there have been signs on both sides. The fact that my mum refuses to cook for dad or eat anything he cooks, that when we eat dinner (separately) she is either complaining about dad or my sister. That my dad has revealed it is likely he will probably be living for half a year every year in Singapore.

So that's where I am right now, largely pissed off, but suppressing it till i can fuck off to Uni and convince myself I'm capable of being an adult rather than a child in a child's room.

So with becoming an adult in mind heres a few things I don't tend to talk about

I play magic the gathering: Not a massive surprise for several people cause by now the majority of people i care about. Yes its extremely nerdy, but also extremely fun, yes it can get expensive and i would be at least £300 richer without this hobby burning a whole in my pocket, but its let me meet a few people and provided me with a game which takes a lot of thought and tactics and kicks the arse of playing shooting games all the time.

There is a girl that I like: This also is probably not a surprise, I am a man, I'm not gay, there are several girls in the area who are intelligent, attractive and might possibly like me. But due to crippling social insecurities it has been easier to accept loneliness over the risk of rejection.

The meaning of Life is 42: This should also not be a surprise to fans of Douglas Adams and is in here in an attempt to brighten up a blog full of sad thoughts and one nerdy collectible card game. It is also an attempt to use the chandler Bing method of ignoring difficult conversations

I am a virgin: This should not be a surprise (see There is a girl that I like)

I am running out of important things to admit: This is the meaning of life is 42 all over again, I'm attempting to use the chandler sandwich method of bad news.

Beginning to regret typing all this now, but who knows, I'm hopefully leaving in October, on campus accommodation or not. If this information in anyway makes you feel uncomfortable then ignore it/ forget it, I'd much rather have friends to talk to about anything.

Truth serum has faded now and all i remember is all the best bits involved frogs

If you can tell me where what that references i will happily give you my piece of the one true cross, to burn/revere or what ever you want.

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